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I was working on chaos and control in the studio, choosing what to control and record (contain) and what to allow to happen without recording ( spilling) which involved making spontaneous decisions on entering my studio. In the middle of exploring this my friend Greg committed suicide and so the pieces became much darker and more emotional. 



September 2015


I am exploring chaos and control.


Each time I come into the studio I chose what to control and record but also what to let go of, not to control, record or keep.


Each day is a new day and I decide by looking at what has gone before or the results of what has happened.


Some days I carefully plan, record and I have expectations of the outcome. This is the me I know well and it fits with being a teacher and having used clay for many years.


Some days I smash what I have made with a hammer.


Other days I break my own ceramic rules and do some things that I do not know the outcome of. A glaze broken down into it’s components instead of being blended. An added ingredient, a spoon, charcoal, glass. Materials added in the wrong order taken to the wrong temperature in the kiln.


This can be in the making, glazing or firing.


Each day I can choose to make, discard, continue, record or take a chance that can not be repeated.


All I know is that this piece will be a figurative piece one day and that although it is an awful feeling opening the kiln to my disaster experiments sometimes. It feels deeply emotional, sometimes I am joyous and happily ‘lost’ in my own creativity but afterwards I can feel anxious and ‘lost’ in the not knowing.


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